Teen Driving 101

When it comes to teenagers learning how to drive, I have always felt it is best left to the professionals.

Driving is not something that can be mastered by reading a textbook. Rather it needs to be practiced, to gain maximal benefit, in a controlled situation. A driving school car with a dual brake and a trained instructor is best. Here in Texas we have driving schools the kids take 32 hours of classroom instructions and 14 hours of behind the wheel instruction, then 30 hours of driving with a parent. I highly recommend this approach because it saves time and your sanity.

Getting a driver license is a rite of passage in our society, a clear signal that you are moving toward adulthood and independence. Currently I’m teaching my youngest son to drive, he is doing very well expect for the dreaded parallel parking.

Learning to drive may be one of the great adolescent milestones, but for parents, it represents a major push back from our kids as they claim their independence from us. When I was teaching my oldest son to drive, I never thought about what I would miss, not being in the driver’s seat.

I hadn’t considered the conversations, about God, life, family, death and future. We talked about their friends, school, current affairs, sports and anything they wanted to talk about. I told them about newspaper/tv stories, I had read that had life lessons. We spend so many hours in our car, coming and going. So much of our together time was spend taxiing my sons around to practice, scouts, football games, and different outings. In the car, our interests overlapped. No one could retreat to his own room.

The first time I ever talked about sex with my boys, we were driving across the state. I remember watching their faces in the rearview mirror. We could never have had that initial conversation around the dinner table. We needed to not look at each other, but to be together without the distractions.

When I drove, I liked getting to talk to their friends. I learn a lot about teen life from them. Who is dating who, who likes who, who hates who. Who is passing math and who can’t stand it, who got in trouble at school or home. It’s like my very own soap opera on wheels, one that has now come to its end. Yes, the license changes everything. It changes parenting. It changes power. It changes structure.

I have gained hours for myself, each one tinged with fear. And I lost all that time with him. Trips that used to seem like chores now feel like missed opportunities, lost talks and shared songs.

Back then I still had my younger son Blake to drive around for three more years. Not any more because today my baby got his drivers license, I will miss having a few minutes alone with my son, going somewhere together.

Sons,

I want you to always be cautious. Don’t let your fear of being late ever force you to make a bad choice behind the wheel that could put you or anyone else in danger. Saving a few seconds is never worth pulling out in traffic when you’re not sure if you can make it safely.

Don’t let other people or other things (like your cellphone) distract you when you are on the road. As a new driver, it will be tempting to think you have it all under control, that you can handle the radio blasting, your friends talking and your text messages vibrating in the cup holder, but you can’t handle these distractions. It takes years of experience to master driving, and even when you do master it one second of inattention can lead to tragedy.

I tell you this not to scare you, but because I love you and I never want anything bad to happen to you or your friends.

And lastly, if you are ever in a situation where you can’t drive or one of your friends can’t drive, CALL ME. This is my promise to you — I will pick you up anywhere, anytime, no questions asked, no judgment.

Love You,

Mom

I taught both of my sons to drive. In each case it was a great bonding experience in spite of the occasional gasps and pounding the imaginary brake pedal. My oldest son Austin is a caution driver, that feels conformable driving in Houston traffic, as well as across the state.